---------Swami: the Wreckoning-------
(Cardname) (Casting Cost) (Commonality: c, u, or r)
(Cardtype) - (Subtypes)
(rules text) (power/toughness) (flavor text)

--WHITE--

Flying Twinkie c
Creature - Twinkie
Flying 1/1

Pirate Monkey c
Creature - Monkey Barbarian
When Pirate Monkey comes into play, you may pay the casting cost of target artifact card in a graveyard. If you do, put it into play under your control. 2/2 ("We... Pruned ze hedges... Of many small willages..." )

Freak Boys c
Creature - Swami Freak
Discard a card: Remove Freak Boys from the game. At the end of turn, return Freak Boys to play. 2/3

Twinkie Battalion c
Creature - Twinkie Soldiers
Twinkies you control don't tap to attack. 3/4

Tootsie Roll Wrapper u
Creature - Paper Monkey Wall
Protection from Monkeys. (This creature cannot be damaged, enchanted, blocked or targeted by Monkeys)
Tootsie Roll Wrapper may block any number of creatures. 0/3

Monkey Butler u
Creature - Monkey
When this or any other Monkey comes into play, you may gain one life. 2/3

Twinkie Zealots u
Creature - Twinkies
Flying
, sacrifice a Twinkie: Black creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn. 3/3

Twinkie Tank u
Creature - Twinkie Vehicle
, sacrifice a Twinkie: Destroy target creature of 4 or more power. 5/5

Kristin, Super Girl u
Creature - Student Hero Girl 2/2
Attacking does not cause Kristin to tap.
While an Evil creature is in play or you have less than 5 life, Kristin gains +2/+2 and flying.

Mr. Fixit r
Creature - Swami Wizard
: Regenerate target non-creature permanent. 3/3

Twinkie Scientists r
Creature - Twinkie Wizards
, X, Sacrifice a Twinkie: Put target creature in your graveyard into play with a casting cost of X+3 or less under your control. 2/2

Scissors Sue r
Creature - Swami Girl
, : Put a cut counter on each attacking creature.
, : Target creature with at least one cut counter on it is destroyed. 3/6


Dense Leafy Undergrowth c
Instant
Destroy target artifact or enchantment.
Cycling (, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card. )

Bunny Trail u
Enchant Creature
Whenever enchanted creature would deal damage, instead you gain that much life. ("Oh right... gaming... That's what we were doing." )

Wedding March r
Enchantment
At the beginning of your turn, put a charge counter on Wedding March.
When there are four charge counters on Wedding March, remove them and put a 4/4 white creature token into play under your control. ( "Why? What's happening next year?" -Sessa )

Have Some Chalk r
Instant
Draw a card.
Choose one - Prevent X damage to target creature or player OR Gain X life.
Entwine (Choose both if you pay the Entwine cost)

Russell Armor r (Instead of Paper Cuts of Doom)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+4 and doesn't tap to attack.
Equip or ( or : Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

--BLUE--

Name-Caller c
Creature - Swami Bug
: Choose a creature type other than Swami or Wall. Target creature becomes that creature type until end of turn. 1/1 ("Woopknacker!" )

Twinkie Airship c
Creature - Twinkie Vehicle
Flying
If you control no tapped permanents at the beginning of your turn, draw a card. (Your untap step is after the beginning of your turn.) 1/2

Twinkie Pilots c
Creature - Twinkie Vehicle
Flying
Sacrifice a Twinkie: deal 1 damage to target creature. 2/2

Monkey See, Monkey Do c
Creature - Monkey
Monkey See, Monkey Doo is the creature type of every creature in play in addition to being a Monkey. (Walls can't attack.)
Monkey See, Monkey Doo is the color of every creature in play. 3/3

Twinkie Squadron u
Creature - Twinkie Vehicle
Flying
Twinkie Squadron comes into play with 5 +1/+1 counters on it.
, Sacrifice a Twinkie: put a +1/+1 counter on this.
, Remove a +1/+1 counter from this: put a 1/1 blue Twinkie creature token with flying into play. 0/0

Sneaky Army Man u
Creature - Plastic Toy Soldiers
Toys are unblockable. 1/1

Tinker Bell u
Creature - Swami Girl Bug
Flying
, : Return target permanent to owner's hand. 1/1 (get back in there! )

Clone Lackeys u
Creature - Henchlings
As Clone Lackeys comes into play, choose target non-Swami creature in play. Target creature is now a Twin in addition to its other types. Clone Lackeys is an exact copy of that creature, except it is blue. (Counters and enchantments on that creature are not copied. ) */*

The Pants Command You! r
Creature - Alien Pants
As The Pants Command You! comes into play, gain control of target creature. Retain control of that creature as long as The Pants Command You! remains in play. 1/1

Shadow of the Chicken r
Creature - Giant Chicken Shadow
When Shadow of the Chicken comes into play, you may search your library for a card with the word "Chicken" in its types or rules text and reveal it. If you do, shuffle your library and put that card on top.
Chickens have flying. 5/6

Rogue r
Creature - Swami Hero
: Rogue gains all activated abilities of target creature. You may use blue mana as mana of any color when paying for those abilities. 2/2


Eating a Cookie c
Instant
Return target permanent to owner's hand. Draw a card.

Look, a Monkey! u
Sorcery
Gain control of target enchant creature or equipment and attach it to target creature you control. Draw a card.

Twinkie Factory u
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a charge counter on Twinkie Factory.
, remove X charge counters from this: put X 1/1 artifact Twinkie creature tokens into play.

Overshirt r (Instead of Inflatable Twinkie)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+1 and flying.
Equip or ( or : Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

Groundhog Day r
Sorcery
Take two extra turns after this turn. Then target opponent takes an extra turn. ("What would you do if every day started exactly the same?" -Phil Connors )

Jedi Pants r
Enchant Creature - Pants
Enchanted creature is a Jedi in addition to its other types.
Enchanted creature cannot be blocked and cannot be the target of spells or abilities. ("I find your lack of pants disturbing." -Vader )

--BLACK--

Boot Virus u
Creature - Computer Virus
When a player draws a card, put a 1/1 black Virus token into play under that player's control.
During your upkeep, Boot Virus deals 1 damage to each player who controls a Virus. 1/1

Software Virus c
Creature - Computer Virus
If Software Virus would be destroyed, you may put a 1/1 black Virus token into play under target opponent's control and regenerate Software Virus. (The next time this creature would be destroyed this turn, instead tap it, remove all damage from it and remove it from combat.) 2/2

Monkey Wrench c
Creature - Evil Monkey
When Monkey Wrench comes into play, target player discards a card at random. ("Gimme." ) 3/1

Monkey Assistant c
Creature - Game Monkey
If you would take damage, you may instead have that damage be dealt to Monkey Assistant. 3/3

Macro Virus u
Creature - Computer Virus
Flying
When this or another non-token Virus comes into play, each player chooses a creature type. Creatures of those types get -1/-1 until end of turn. 1/1

Dayne u
Creature - Student Bug
Indestructible
Dayne attacks each turn, if able.
Dayne cannot be the target of spells or abilities.
Swamis do not untap as normal. 1/1

Logan u
Creature - Swami Hero 4/2
: Regenerate Logan. (The next time this creature would be destroyed this turn, instead tap it, remove all damage from it and remove it from combat.) (Hey bub. )

Twinkie Devourer u
Creature - Swami Twinkie Giant
Trample
Sacrifice a creature of 2 or less power: Twinkie Devourer gains +1/+1 until end of turn. 5/5

Skeletor Clayson r
Creature - Evil Wizard Swami 3/4
Whenever Skeletor Clayson is dealt damage, Skeletor Clayson deals that much damage to target player.
: Skeletor Clayson and target Hero get -2/-2 until end of turn.

Davy Jones' Locker r
Creature - Monkee Locker Wall
When Davy Jones' Locker leaves play, destroy target non-Barbarian, non-artifact creature. That creature can't be regenerated.
(Davy Jones' Locker is not a Monkey.) 4/2 (You'll be sleepin' with th' fishies m' laddie-o )

Moth in the Wheat Field r
Creature - Giant Bug
Flying
When Moth in the Wheat Field damages a player, that player loses life equal to its power, then you gain that much life. 2/4
( "Cut him off in the wheat field" -Sessa to Josh )

Jeans Stealer r
Creature - Ganker of Pants r
First strike, cannot attack if opponent controls Pants.
: Choose one - Destroy target Pants creature OR gain control of target Enchant Creature - Pants in play and move it to enchant Jeans Stealer.
At the beginning of your turn, lose 1 life. 6/6


Electrocute c
Instant
Choose one - Destroy target non-black creature. It can't be regenerated. OR Put a +1/+1 counter on target artifact creature.
Entwine (Choose both if you pay the Entwine cost) ("Twenty years in the electric chair" )

Simian my Way u
Enchant Creature u
Enchanted creature gets -2/-2. If it is a Monkey, it gets +2/+2 instead.

Robot Pants u
Enchant Creature - Pants
Enchanted creature is a Robot in addition to its other types.
Enchanted creature gains +1/+1 for each creature in each graveyard.

Trip to Funcoland r
Instant
Target player sacrifices three permanents. That player may draw a card, then play one spell from their hand without paying its mana cost.

The Camera r (Instead of Master Boot Virus)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+0 and provoke.
Equip or ( or : Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

--RED--

Student Arms Dealer c
Creature - Student
: Target student gains +1/+0 until end of turn. Any player may play this ability. 0/1 ("We will fight for the right to arm bears!" -Abner )

Sam! c
Creature - Cat Terror
Haste
When Sam! comes into play, tap all other creatures. ( Bat-Sam! Bow chooka bow wow... ) 2/1

Trunk Monkey c
Creature - Monkey
: Trunk Monkey deals 1 damage to target creature or player. 2/2 ("Good job. Now get back in the trunk." )

Monster RV c
Creature - Giant Vehicle
Vehicles you control have trample. 4/4

Anti-Air Students u
Creature - Students
: Deal 2 damage to target flying creature.
: Target creature gains flying until end of turn. 2/1

Agreeing Monkey u
Creature - Monkey
Agreeing Monkey cannot attack or block unless another creature you control attacks or blocks. 3/3 (No it's not. It's red! )

Angry Monkey u
Creature - Evil Monkey
When Angry Monkey comes into play, destroy target artifact. 3/1 ("That horrible Monkey!" -Zim )

Motorcycle Student u
Creature - Vehicle Student
When Motorcycle Student comes into play, destroy target land. 3/3

Two-Ton Tricycle u
Creature - Giant Vehicle
Trample, Haste
Tap an untapped vehicle you control: +2/+0 until end of turn. 4/4

Gambit r
Creature - Swami Hero
: Gambit deals 3 damage to target creature. 3/3 ("." )

Mona Fly r
Creature - Vehicle
Flying, haste 6/5


Campfire Inferno c
Instant
Campfire Inferno deals 3 damage divided as you wish among any number of targets.

Ollie the Rock u
Instant
Sacrifice an artifact you control. Ollie the Rock deals damage to target creature or player equal to artifact's casting cost plus two.(One... Two... Three... Jump! )

...Of DOOOwuMM! r
Enchant Permanent
Whenever enchanted permanent would deal damage, it deals double that damage instead.

Here Comes the New Boss r
Sorcery
Target opponent chooses a creature you control. Put three +1/+1 counters on that creature. ( Let your victims choose their own doom. )

Death by Chickens r
Sorcery
Put X + 2 1/1 red Chicken creature tokens with haste into play. Sacrifice them at end of turn. ("You died once?" "By chickens..." "Ah, very honorable." )

Packpack r (Instead of Fire Alarm?)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+1 and haste.
Equip or ( or : Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

--GREEN--

A Zombie c
Creature - Undead
Kicker (You may pay an additional when you play A Zombie)
If you pay the kicker cost, destroy target artifact or enchantment. 1/1 (Afterlife is changing every day in every possible way... )

Calin, Scout c (was wall of Chaos)
Creature - Elf Wizard 2/2
Kicker (You may pay an additional when you play Calin, Scout)
If you pay the kicker cost, search your library for a basic land and put it into your hand. Shuffle you library.

Gorilla c
Creature - Big Monkey
When Gorilla comes into play, you may put a land from your hand into play tapped. If you do, put a 1/1 colorless Teddy Bear creature token into play. 3/3 ("Anywhere I want!" )-

Ballista c
Creature - Vehicle
Ballista can block creatures with flying. 2/4

Link u
Creature - Hero 1/1
Link gains +1/+1 for each artifact in play.
If Link is equipped, he gains trample.

The Mentor u
Creature - Human Wizard
During your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on a creature you control other than The Mentor. 2/2

Poison Ivy u
Creature - Evil Swami
Whenever Poison Ivy deals damage to a creature, destroy that creature.
If Poison Ivy is equipped, she gains first strike. 2/4

Orgish Throwing Dwarf u
Creature - Barbarian Dwarf
Tap an untapped creature you control: Orgish Throwing Dwarf can block as if he had flying until end of turn. 6/5 ("Is there something wrong with your dwarf?" -anonymous guard, last words )

Zorak r
Creature - Evil Bug
Zorak can block as if he had flying.
: Target creature gains +3/+3 until end of turn.
3/3 ("Zorak's green. Green with evil." - Space Ghost OR Zorak things )

Delerium r
Creature - Human Wizard Girl
: reveal top 4 cards of target library. Put all enchantments revealed this way into play under your control. Put the remaining cards on the bottom of owner's library. If any of those enchantments leave play, put them at the bottom of owner's library. 3/3

Coelacanth r
Creature - Amugaba!
Trample
Coelacanth costs less to play for each card in your hand. (Not counting this one.) ("What the..." "A-mu-gaba!" ) 10/10


Wierdness c
Instant
Target opponent shuffles his or her library. Reveal the top card and play it without paying its mana cost. (You control that spell or land)
("Just the sound of it would tear your eyebrows right off!" - IGN )

Swabbage u
Instant
Remove all counters from all permanents in play.
Gain four life.

DMing Pants u
Enchant Creature - Pants
Enchanted creature is a Wizard in addition to its other types.
Enchanted creature gains: , : put X 2/2 green orc creature tokens into play.

Monkeystorm r
Sorcery
Choose one - Search your library for X Monkeys and put them into play, then shuffle your library; or put X 2/2 green Monkey creature tokens into play.
Entwine (Choose both if you pay the Entwine cost) (In case you need a few good Monkeys)

Chaos r
Instant
Target player shuffles his or her library. Reveal the top three cards and play them in the order revealed without paying their mana cost. (You control those spells or lands) ("If I cast weirdness 26 times, I promise something will be tragic." -Akili )

Rod of Eryn r (Instead of Pummel)
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +3/+1 and trample.
Equip or ( or : Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

--ARTIFACT--

One-Armed Monkey c
Artifact Creature - Monkey
: Flying. Sacrifice One-Armed Monkey at the end of your turn. 2/2 ("Oooh ooh ooh, waaaaaaa!" )

Slug Monkey c
Artifact Creature - Monkey Slug Hero
If Slug Monkey becomes tapped, it does not untap during its controller's next untap phase. 4/4 ("Slug Monkey, that funky Monkey." -Super Seed )


Duct Tape c
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +1/+1.
If equipped creature is a Swami or Wizard, creatures you control gain +0/+1.
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

The Brain c
Artifact - Equipment
Undead you control gain +1/+1.
Equipped creature gains +2/+1.
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)

The Hat c
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains +2/+0.
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.)
Sacrifice The Hat: Regenerate target creature.

Balloon Battle! c
Land - Hero Battleground
: add to your mana pool.
, remove a counter from a permanent you control: Choose one - Put a charge counter on target artifact or enchantment; or put a +1/+1 counter onto target creature.

Insaniquarium u
Artifact
During your upkeep, you may pay , where X is the number of Fish tokens you control plus the number of +1/+1 counters on them. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on each Fish token you control, then put a 1/1 blue Fish creature token into play. If you don't, sacrifice a Fish you control.

The Map r
Artifact - Equipment
Swamis you control gain +1/+1.
Equipped creature gains +3/+3.
Equip (: Attach to target creature you control. Equip only as a sorcery. This card comes into play unattached and stays in play if the creature leaves play.) (The Answer is: knowing where you're going. Once you know that...)

Tower of Chaos r
Artifact
Green creatures have trample.
, sacrifice Tower of Chaos: You may put any number of creatures from your hand into play. Creatures you control gain +3/+3 and trample until end of turn.

Tower of the Watchers r
Artifact
White creatures don't tap to attack.
, sacrifice Tower of the Watchers: Creatures you control gain +1/+1 and flying until end of turn. Gain 8 life.

Tower of the Mages r
Artifact
Blue creatures have flying.
, sacrifice Tower of the Mages: Creatures you control gain flying until end of turn. Take another turn after this one.

Tower of Matro r
Artifact
Black creatures have +2/+1.
, sacrifice Tower of Matro: Creatures you control cannot be blocked except by black or artifact creatures until end of turn. Return any number of creatures in your graveyard to your hand.

The Red Tower r
Artifact
Red creatures have first strike.
, sacrifice The Red Tower : Untap and gain control of all non-Swami non-artifact creatures in play until end of turn. Those creatures gain haste.

--MULTICOLOR--

Come Step on my Head / Moby Bison c
Instant (split card)
Target creature must attack this turn if able. / Target creature gains flying and +1/+0 until end of turn. (Charlie's dead, Charlie's dead, cuz we kicked him in the head. / Then we cooked him, and we ate him 'cause he smelled good. )

Red Shell / Banana c
Instant (split card)
Red Shell deals 2 damage to target creature or player. / Prevent all damage target creature would deal this turn and gain 2 life. ("Yahoo!" -Toad / "Peachy's got it!" -Peach )

Slip / Slide c
Instant (split card)
Tap target creature. It does not untap during its controller's next untap phase. / Target creature gains haste and +1/+0 until end of turn. ("Have you seen my tail? Some joker cut it off." / "It's not a tail after all. It's a wacky fun slippery slide." )

Sow / Reap c (Level Up / Extra Life)
Sorcery (split card)
Put the top card of your library into your graveyard. Put target card from your graveyard into your hand. / Put target creature from your graveyard into play. Lose 2 life.

Exhaustion / Second Wind c
Instant (split card)
Target player sacrifices an attacking creature. / Target creature gains +3/+3 until end of turn.

Blaine u
Creature - Swami Student
When Blaine comes into play, each opponent may put a Dayne card they own outside of the game into play.
Blaine gets +1/+1 for each other Swami in play and in all graveyards.
Simplify . You may play this from your hand for . If you do, Blaine gains trample. Put two +1/+1 counters on Blaine. 4/4

Paper Pyrosaur u
Creature - Paper Dragon Golem
: Haste and +1/+0 until end of turn.
: Flying and +0/+1 until end of turn.
Simplify . You may play this from your hand for . If you do, Paper Pyrosaur gains flying. Put two +1/+1 counters on Paper Pyrosaur. 4/4


@Boot u
Sorcery
Remove target permanent from the game.
Simplify . You may play this from your hand for . If you do, draw a card and @Boot cannot target enchantments or artifacts.

Mass of Incandescent Gas u
Sorcery
Mass of Incandescent Gas deals 4 damage to target creature or player. Draw 2 cards.
Simplify . You may play this from your hand for . If you do, Mass of Incandescent Gas deals an additional 2 damage to chosen target. ( no room for flavor text )

Deliberately Obtuse u
Enchant Creature
You control enchanted creature. Enchanted creature gains +2/+2 and trample.
Simplify . You may play this from your hand for . If you do, look at the top four cards of your library and put them back in any order. ("Which of the following answers are you least likely to select?" "This statement is a lie." )