##CategoryRants
##CategoryHumor

----
(from RussellMUCK 7/19/02)
----
["Pearl"] exclaims, "There's a small lizard in my office!"

["Calin"] exclaims, "Nifty!"

["Pearl"] says, "He's tiny and fast."

["Paw"] purrs, "Neeto."

["Paw"] asks, "How'd that happen?"

["Pearl"] says, "I dunno. I tried to herd him towards the door, but he went under something."

["Pearl"] says, "If I was brave I'd catch it and put it outside..."

["Pearl"] asks, "Do lizards bite?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Not that you'd notice."

["Calin"] says, "They can, but most can't break the skin."

["Calin"] nods.

["Pearl"] says, "Ewwwaaahh"

"Ewah?" asks ["Calin"].

["Paw"] purrs, "If the gerbils nipping at your skin doesn't bother you, a Lizard won't."

["Calin"] nods.

["Paw"] purrs, "And a lizard would probably be more concerned with getting away than biting."

["Calin"] says, "Just try not to grab it by the tail."

["Pearl"] says, "Yeah, I herded him out of my room, but he ran for the fax machine."

["Calin"] says, "It's just gross."

["Pearl"] says, "Yeah, I know, they can detach it."

["Calin"] nods.

["Pearl"] says, "This one's just a baby though."

["Pearl"] sighs.

["Calin"] says, "It could still detach it."

["Pearl"] says, "Maybe I'll just ignore him and he'll find his own way out."

["Paw"] wants to help catch the Leeezard.

["Pearl"] exclaims, "Then get over here!"

["Kimia"] says, "The lizard would be nifty for ["Calin"] to add to his collection."

["Calin"] chuckles.

["Azizi"] says, "But it would eat all his pet spiders."

["Pearl"] says, "He's WAY too fast for me."

["Calin"] says, "Yeah. The lizard would think the spider and preying mantis were very tasty."

["Pearl"] asks, "You still have the mantis?"

["Kimia"] says, "But he would have them in different containers."

["Calin"] says, "I caught one yesterday or the day before."

["Pearl"] says, "Ah, a different one."

A peaceful calm falls silently through a quiet fog.

["Kimia"] says, "It's way bigger."

["Calin"] says, "This one is much bigger than the other."

["Calin"] says, "Probably an inch and a half long."

["Pearl"] says, "Whoa!"

["Paw"] purrs, "Lizards eat small bugs too. He'd be busy catching a lot of food."

["Paw"] purrs, "Or find a store that stocks crickets."

["Calin"] says, "Yeah. I have a hard enough time catching enough bugs for my bugs."

["Paw"] purrs, "Or just go stalk crickets."

- http://www.all4humor.com/jokes/various/1.html

["Pearl"] says, "I would think the lizard would be attracted to the sun and find his way out the open door here."

["Calin"] says, "He will, eventually."

["Calin"] says, "Maybe."

"How cold is it in there?" asks ["Calin"].

["Pearl"] says, "Too bad it's Friday and I have to lock up when I leave."

["Calin"] nods.

["Pearl"] says, "It's pretty warm... so maybe the shade is more attractive now."

["Pearl"] frowns.

["Calin"] says, "Could be."

["Pearl"] says, "Maybe that's why he came in in the first place: to escape the hot sun."

["Paw"] purrs, "Hm... some of that seems rather improbable..."

["Pearl"] asks, "What part?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump."

["Paw"] purrs, "That's a lie."

["Paw"] purrs, "Whales can't jump."

["Azizi"] says, "They mean land animals."

["Azizi"] says, "However they didn't say that."

["Paw"] purrs, "It didn't specify."

["Akili"] has connected.

["Paw"] purrs, "I bet a millipede can't jump."

["Calin"] agrees.

["Calin"] says, "I also suspect slugs don't jump."

["Azizi"] says, "That's an insect."

["Calin"] says, "Insects are animals."

["Pearl"] says, "Slugs are invertibrates not bugs."

["Pearl"] says, "or insects."

["Calin"] says, "Slugs are still animals. Try to keep up."

["Azizi"] says, "What it should say is land mammals."

["Paw"] purrs, "I wouldn't doubt that several of these are incorrect."

["Paw"] purrs, "I bet a hippo can't jump either."

["Calin"] declares that elephants are the only four legged gray land mammals larger than a house that cannot jump.

["Pearl"] laughs.

["Azizi"] says, "Yup they can."

["Paw"] purrs, "Nor a rhino."

["Calin"] says, "I would think a rhino can jump."

["Paw"] asks, "What about a seal?"

["Akili"] asks, "How about giraffes?"

["Azizi"] says, "The reason an elephant can't jump is because of how it's knees are formed. It makes them incapable of jumping."

["Calin"] says, "Giraffes aren't bigger than a house. Taller, but not heavier."

["Paw"] purrs, "Seals only have flippers."

["Paw"] purrs, "They are lucky they can walk on land."

["Calin"] says, "Seals aren't land mammals."

["Calin"] says, "Not really."

["Paw"] purrs, "Sometimes they are."

["Calin"] says, "Yeah sometimes."

["Azizi"] says, "But they can jump."

["Azizi"] says, "I have seen a seal jump."

["Paw"] purrs, "Neet."

["Calin"] says, "Anyway, I'm sticking to my story. About the gray four legged larger than house thing."

["Paw"] purrs, "Bet he didn't get very far."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Whales end up on beaches, too. But I wouldn't call them land mammals."

["Paw"] purrs, "White men can't jump."

["Calin"] says, "That's true..."

["Calin"] says, "I think it's because of the way our knees bend."

["Calin"] grins.

["Paw"] purrs, "Probably."

["Pearl"] cracks up.

["Pearl"] is glad she's alone in the office.

["Calin"] chuckles.

["Calin"] says, "We're not four legged, gray, or larger than a house though."

["Paw"] purrs, "Most of us aren't."

["Azizi"] has to go to the vets now. Talk to you all later.

["Calin"] says, "Yeah MOST."

The ["Mean-O-Meter"] eyes ["Paw"], wondering if he's about to say what he thinks ["Paw"]'s going to say.

["Calin"] says, "She's not gray."

["Akili"] waves to ["Azizi"].

["Calin"] says, "That's all I'm saying."

["Paw"] purrs, "Not USUALLY."

["Kimia"] chokes on her juice.

["Calin"]'s eyes go wide.

["Pearl"] chokes on her Jelly Bean.

- Now it's ["Akili"]'s turn to start cracking up.