##CategoryRants
##CategoryHumor
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(from RussellMuck 10/16/02)
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["Akili"] sees something peculiar.

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Why are there two wizard hats?"

["Paw"] didn't do it!

["Paw"] purrs, "One is a magical sorting hat."

["Rua"] says, "There were two yesterday too."

["Paw"] purrs, "It will sort you into your correct animal or mythical race."

["Akili"] isn't sure why he didn't notice earlier. "They were both created some time ago, though."

["Paw"] purrs, "Only male Hanelys get to be mythical races, though."

["Paw"] purrs, "Everyone else is an animal."

["Paw"] purrs, "Of course, male Hanelys are forced to have CAL as the first three letters of their names."

["Rua"] laughs.

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "All of that, of course, isn't true."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Allegra"] is also an Elf."

["Paw"] purrs, "Who is ["Allegra"]?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Although I've been told several times, I don't immediately recall. At a guess, ["Octavie"] or ["Carnelian"]."

["Paw"] purrs, "And when was the last time she was on?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "A long time ago."

["Paw"] purrs, "Things have CHANGED since then."

["Paw"] purrs, "Keep up with the times, dude."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Secondly, define a mythical race."

["Paw"] purrs, "Any race found in the works of WikiPedia:Tolkien."

["Rua"] says, "What about creatures from other things?"

["Rua"] says, "WikiPedia:Tolkien doesn't rule all."

["Paw"] purrs, "Only when it comes to male Hanelys he does."

["Rua"] says, "Okay, fine."

["Akili"] additionally finds a Shoe, a Unicorn, and a ["Kenlow"].

["Calin"] returns to catch up on this.

["Calin"] says, "OOOk."

["Calin"] says, "You know what?"

["Calin"] says, "This is silly."

["Calin"] says, "And the shoe is also a male Hanely."

["Rua"] says, "Is anything you usually talk about not silly?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Shoe?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Shoe."

["Calin"] says, "This is absurd though."

["Paw"] purrs, "What Shoe?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "There's a male shoe named shoe."

["Calin"] says, "That's my brother."

["Paw"] purrs, "Shoes are mythical creatures."

["Paw"] purrs, "They are mentioned in the works of WikiPedia:Tolkien, no?"

["Rua"] says, "Actually, I don't really think he ever mentions shoes."

["Paw"] purrs, "Yeah he does."

["Rua"] says, "If you say so."

["Paw"] purrs, "How do we know that WikiPedia:Hobbits do not wear them, and humans do, if he does not mention them?"

["Rua"] says, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Maybe he said boots instead of shoes."

["Paw"] purrs, "Boots are shoes too."

["Paw"] purrs, "And thus, mythical creatures."

["Rua"] says, "How about hairy feet?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Or at least, a mythical race."

["Paw"] purrs, "I don't know. I would suppose hairy feet are a mythical race as well."

["Paw"] purrs, "I never thought of that."

["Rua"] laughs.

["Akili"] is momentarily tempted to change ["Paw"]'s species to Hairy Feet.

["Rua"] says, "Are horses a mythical race?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Yep."

["Paw"] purrs, "They are mentioned in [wiki:WikiPedia:Tolkein JRR Tolkien]'s work, no?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "As are humans, by that reckoning."

["Paw"] purrs, "Yep."

["Paw"] purrs, "I've never seen a human, have you?"

["Rua"] says, "Okay, so anything that is mentioned is a mythical race, even if they are found in the 'real' world?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "["Elminster"]'s a human. So is [:DainAltor:Dain]."

["Rua"] says, "So is WikiPedia:Aragorn and WikiPedia:Boromir."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Yup. Mythical trees, rocks, rivers, carrots, saddles, torches, biscuits, tables, boats.... All mythical."

["Rua"] says, "Mythical mushrooms?????"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Sure. They're Mythical Magical Mystical Mushrooms."

["Rua"] says, "cool."

["Paw"] purrs, "Righto."

["Paw"] purrs, "[:DainAltor:Dain] and ["Elminster"] are both puppets, anyhow."

["Rua"] says, "Puppets?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Yeah, you know puppets."

["Paw"] purrs, "You stick your hand up your..."

["Rua"] says, "Gee thanks ["Paw"]...."

["Rua"] says, "Just remember.... gently."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Yeah, okay. Check please."

["Paw"] purrs, "And ["Elminster"]... isn't he a Wizard?"

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Nope. He's a male human mage."

["Calin"] says, "Unless you're WikiPedia:Tolkien, wizard is not a race."

["Paw"] purrs, "Ahh, and there we have the quandary."

["Paw"] purrs, "Wait..."

["Paw"] purrs, ["Elminster"] is a Mage?"

["Paw"] purrs, "Then he isn't a mythical creature from WikiPedia:Tolkien. Problem solved."

["Paw"] admires his nice little shoehorning job of Reality.

["Paw"] purrs, "Perfect fit."

["Russell"] has arrived.

["Calin"] says, "Uh oh."

["Paw"] eyes ["Russell"].

["Russell"] shows up, just to ruin ["Paw"]'s nefarious plans.

["Paw"] points at ["Russell"], "You, sir, are a mythical race!"

["Russell"] points back at ["Paw"]. "And you, sir, are completely off your rocker."

["Paw"] purrs, "I have no rocker to be off of. You are completely off base."

["Rua"] says, "Hey wait, does WikiPedia:Tolkien mention dogs in books?"

["Calin"] says, "Yeah. I think so."

["Calin"] says, "So THERE, ["Paw"]."

["Calin"] says, "She is not a male Hanely."

["Rua"] says, "Yeah!!!! I'm a mythical race."

["Rua"] says, "I win!!!!"

["Paw"] purrs, "But dogs are animals as well."

["Russell"] says, "So are humans."

["Calin"] grins. "Indeed. I must be slipping."

["Rua"] says, "So, you said everything in the books."

["Paw"] purrs, "So a male Hanely can be a dog, as well as a non Hanely, or non male."

["Paw"] purrs, "They are both a mythical race, and an animal. No problem."

["Paw"] purrs, "But... if you are not a male, and not a Hanely, you may not be a shoe!"

["Calin"] says, "Oh."

["Calin"] says, "True enough."

["Rua"] says, "Okay, now I understand everything."

["Paw"] clings to his tenuous grip on his shoe-horned reality.

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "That still doesn't explain the two wizard hats."

["Paw"] purrs, "I explained the wizard hat. It is a sorting hat."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "Which one?"

["Calin"] suggests, "The other one."

["Paw"] purrs, "For sorting you into your correct animal or mythical race."

["Akili"] rumbles lightly, "They were both made within minutes of each other, both by ["Calin"], and with identical descriptions... and one is locked to a seperate player for no apparent reason."

["Calin"] says, "That... is odd."

["Calin"] says, "Oh, and Shoe's name is not !CalShoe."

["Paw"] purrs, "That must be amended immediately, methinks."