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Good Times In Retail

BR 1/29/07 BRBR Akili saw the grandfather of all hot tubs at Costco yesterday, and it had the scary attribute of No Price Tag: If You Have To Ask, You Can't Afford It. "Looked wonderful, though. I'd love to have one of those in my nonexistent screened patio out in the backyard, even if I'd probably never use it often enough."

Calin chuckles.

Calin says, "Yeah, having to ask means they won't tell you the price without a SalesPerson there to lie to you, or otherwise prevent you from simply turning around and leaving."

Calin says, "Whether you can afford it or not, it's more than a person should be paying for whatever it is."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Well, Costco's pretty good about that sort of thing, actually. Their floor staff aren't really salesmen."

Akili rumbles lightly, "But I do think they avoid a few heart attacks caused by the shock of the revelation."

Calin nods. "I meant in general, of course."

- * call for price

Calin says, "Never a good sign, on an online product list."

- "Hi, I'd like to buy this. How much is it? Seven, eight grand?" 'Let's see, that one is... yikes.' "...C'mon, tell me." '...39,999.99.' *thump-thump thu--* 'Crap, not again. Medic!'

Calin chuckles. "I think that happened with the projector Staples sold."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Generally not, no. There only a few occasions I've seen it where it makes sense, with certain products that have prices that fluctuate more rapidly than catalog releases."

Calin nods.

Akili grins. "Oh? Do tell. I must have missed that one."

Calin asks, "You don't remember that thing?"

Calin says, "We didn't actually have any in the store. Not ever."

Akili rumbles lightly, "I'm trying to recall, but it's not coming."

Calin says, "We had one on display though, with a price tag of like 3 grand."

Akili laughs. "One of those lovely items."

Calin says, "I think I remember seeing several people walk over to it and check the price tag, shudder, and walk away."

Akili grins.

Akili rumbles lightly, "Say... I do remember something like that."

Akili asks, "What brand was it? Epson?"

Calin says, "Once, I remember somebody actually asking for one. Of course, we didn't have it in stock. He made a small scene, and then left without ordering it."

Calin says, "I don't know."

Akili laughs. "Nice."

Calin says, "It was on the display with the video-out pcmcia cards."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Along the lines of 'why the hell is this on display if you don't have any to sell?!' I'd wager."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Yeah, those I remember."

Calin says, "Probably something like, 'The only reason I'd even CONSIDER paying this price is because I need it right-freaking-now.'"

Akili rumbles lightly, "Including the one that got transferred into a printer, which was then relocated into the cash room."

Calin chuckles. "Yep."

Akili would pay $50 to get a video of the reaction of whomever discovered it one day.

Calin says, "And prior to that, was in a plastic card case on the display."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Yup. All the rest was fake. I was seriously amazed that the card had been real all the time."

Calin says, "A plastic case that was attached in such a way that anybody could open it and gank the card."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Right. And never did."

Calin says, "And yet, nobody did. Till us."

Calin says, "Man. You don't need to remind me to never take a managerial position at a retail store."

Akili laughs. "Yeah... I think we have a way of altering whatever structure is in place wherever we show up."

Calin says, "If Luis had ever gone through all the cupboards and nooks and crannies, he'd have had an aneurysm like 3 or 4 times over."

Akili rumbles lightly, "Nothing serious... but definite change. No one ELSE started writing As The Staple Turns."

Calin asks, "What... is this expensive looking card... just sitting here in this printer?"

Calin asks, "Did that used to be product?"

Akili laughs. "Why is this disk labeled Norton System Hose?"

Calin asks, "Why... is there a shelf in the bailer?"

Akili is glad he's at home, he's laughing so hard.

Calin asks, "How the hell did a bag of candy get 'returned' as 'damaged??'"

Akili reads that last line over and over and keeps laughing harder.

Calin asks, "... Why is there a box of 40, yes FORTY 4mb compact flash cards hiding under this cabinet? They aren't in the system. They have never been in the system."

Akili asks, "...Why does the manager's office have pry marks around the doorframe?"